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Thursday, November 29, 2007

You might be Evil

I'm not the biggest fan of Jeff Foxworthy, but I do think his "You might be a Redneck" stuff is good, as it is pretty darned funny. After examining what I said on Parenthetically Speaking, and in the spirit of Mr. Foxworthy's material, I'm putting this down in 1s and 0s. To clarify what I had to say on SJ's blog, it was in response to another blogger's suggestion to put dog poop in liquor to bait construction contractors' pilfering said liquor. What I suggested was Bailey's with syrup of ipecac. That made me think later, that I might be evil. Thus the inspiration for this post.

You might be evil if:

you have no qualms with sending others to their deaths.
you take credit for someone else's work and set them up to discredit their character.
the local priests and other holy men, avert their eyes and start reciting prayers when they see you.
the trailer you had moved to the woods, wasn't yours.
you had it done in the middle of the night after screwing the doors and windows shut.
your best friends are vampires, werewolves, zombies, mummies or other widely feared and deadly creatures.
you find you're jealous, and don't even know why.
you lie to innocents just for fun.
they make movies about you, while you're serving life in prison.
you find yourself laughing at the smell of brimstone and the flames around you.
your knapsack is full of guns, knives, ammo and explosive devices, and you've never been in the military.
you find yourself thinking of revenge for things that just don't matter
you bait someone into doing something they wouldn't normally do, then call them names for it.
you then call your crew into the ensuing fracas.
you attack your victims without provocation.

So what do you think? Can you think of any additional ones to add?



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11 Comments:

At Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 2:43:00 PM EST, Blogger Mona $visitorIP said...

Long list that already! But so true!

At Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 4:52:00 PM EST, Blogger Sarah $visitorIP said...

I think that you should leave the comedy for comedians ;)

At Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 5:57:00 PM EST, Blogger S $visitorIP said...

You steal your best friends chocolate.

You take all the covers at night.

You fart in bed.

You eat the last of the desert...

My evils are so domestic.

:P

At Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 7:50:00 PM EST, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

Mona,
Its probably good that I do a self check once in a while.

Sarah,
This wasn't comedy, its a list of possible indicators, some may sound funny.

Suzie,
Uh, you don't do those things, do you? ;)

At Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 10:15:00 PM EST, Blogger lime $visitorIP said...

you invade a middle eastern nation on trumped up lies

At Friday, November 30, 2007 at 8:35:00 AM EST, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

Lime,
You make a helluva good point.

At Friday, November 30, 2007 at 1:05:00 PM EST, Blogger snowelf $visitorIP said...

Charles, I am going to find a list for you eventually that will go with this. It's about protecting your evil domain. ;)

hugs!
--snow

At Sunday, December 2, 2007 at 9:44:00 AM EST, Blogger no.good.at.coding $visitorIP said...

> the local priests and other holy men, avert their eyes and start reciting prayers when they see you.

:))

At Monday, December 3, 2007 at 7:00:00 AM EST, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

Snow,
I don't want an evil domain, if I had one, the me I am would want it dismantled.

NGAC,
Well, it sounded reasonable, never mind that there aren't likely to be any truly holy men.

At Monday, December 3, 2007 at 9:42:00 AM EST, Blogger Mike M $visitorIP said...

I didn't see this post when I was here before.

I'll reserve my additions to this list.

At Monday, December 3, 2007 at 10:53:00 AM EST, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

Mike,
Why? Surely, you have some possibilities that could make us think.

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