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Friday, November 16, 2007

55 Flash Fiction Friday #3

A vignette from my unfinished story.

Primitus ran, dodging bolts. The roof's pitch was steep and he needed purchase to get to the other side. Left hand gripping the cross, a bolt found his wrist. Pinned. Stretched. Sliding. He reached with his free hand to pull himself up. Another bolt, another wrist. Crucified. Bolt three in his side. Blackness enclosed him.





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18 Comments:

At Friday, November 16, 2007 at 12:21:00 AM EST, Blogger S $visitorIP said...

Whoa ok! Wow Charles, thats really good.
Sending people over to check out your counter thing...man, I do love it...makes this go so much faster!
Thanks again.

And I wanted to say that I agree with you about Toris version of I Cant Get You Out Of My Head....it definitely didnt have the spirit of Kylies..but you know I love my Tori....

At Friday, November 16, 2007 at 7:28:00 AM EST, Blogger Mike M $visitorIP said...

Very intriguing! The way a 55 should be!

Another good one, Charles!

At Friday, November 16, 2007 at 7:31:00 AM EST, Blogger MONA $visitorIP said...

The image of crucifixion is always one of extreme pain, helplessness ...

Sometimes I feel it is very symbolic in our lives. We all carry our cross, an invisible cross all the time...

I am so looking forward to reading your book in its entirety.

At Friday, November 16, 2007 at 7:53:00 AM EST, Blogger lime $visitorIP said...

yikes! that's some serious imagery there.

At Friday, November 16, 2007 at 10:12:00 AM EST, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

Susie,
Thank you very much, hopefully I'll finish it sometime soon. I think the energy of Kylie's rendition was the only thing that made the song work, but I'll not deny you your Tori. :)

Mike,
Thank you very much. I'm told you have a new site, I hadn't noticed. Would you care to elaborate on it?

Mona,
It is indeed, which was probably one of the reasons it was used. Our crosses are likely nothing compared to the real thing. I hope to read the book in its entirety, too. ;D

Lime,
Did you see it? I'm a very visual thinker, and putting what I see in my head into words isn't always the easiest thing for me to do, although I can go back and see everything as many times as I like. It's the words that make it hard.

At Friday, November 16, 2007 at 1:52:00 PM EST, Blogger Akelamalu $visitorIP said...

That paints a graphic picture!

Thanks for stopping by my place and taking the time to comment on my first 55. :)

At Friday, November 16, 2007 at 3:37:00 PM EST, Blogger Rebicmel $visitorIP said...

Aye what a wonderful write this is. Very creative! Have a great weekend Charles.

At Friday, November 16, 2007 at 4:50:00 PM EST, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

Akelamalu,
Of course its much shorter here than what will be the final product, but you get the gist of what's happening.

Rebicmel,
Thank you. You have a great one, too.

At Friday, November 16, 2007 at 6:14:00 PM EST, Blogger Serena Joy $visitorIP said...

I like it! I like your Bonus 55 as well, but I REALLY like this one.:)

At Friday, November 16, 2007 at 6:31:00 PM EST, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

SJ,
Thanks. I certainly appreciate and respect your opinion. Modern crossbows can be so quiet and effective, more effective than a silenced pistol at moderate ranges.

At Saturday, November 17, 2007 at 9:50:00 AM EST, Blogger snowelf $visitorIP said...

No, that does NOT happen!

Are you kidding me!?

I have got to find more time to read. I still have your story and Tree's story to get caught up on.

--snow

At Saturday, November 17, 2007 at 9:53:00 AM EST, Blogger Top cat $visitorIP said...

great imagery charles.
tc

At Saturday, November 17, 2007 at 10:08:00 AM EST, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

Snow,
Oh yeah (nodding) that occurs. One thing I learned from reading Frank Herbert, is that main beloved characters die. Even Orson Scott Card kills off Ender, sort of. Real life takes a lot of things we love from us, and it shapes us and the world we live in.

TC,
Thanks, its not super descriptive, but with so few words, that's hard.

At Sunday, November 18, 2007 at 12:36:00 PM EST, Blogger mcewen $visitorIP said...

Goodness! Now I wasn't expecting that either.
Cheers

At Sunday, November 18, 2007 at 3:49:00 PM EST, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

McEwen,
With only 55 words to tell the story, you sometimes have to spring the end on the reader.
And still, "Cheers" without the drinks, you're going to have to start bringing enough to share. ;)

At Sunday, November 18, 2007 at 10:46:00 PM EST, Blogger G-Man $visitorIP said...

A double!!!
Just like I love my drinks!!
Thanks Charles..You are quite a talented Guy..G

At Monday, November 19, 2007 at 5:41:00 AM EST, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

G,
Me, too. Thanks.

At Saturday, November 24, 2007 at 3:11:00 PM EST, Blogger S E E Quine $visitorIP said...

` Poor Primitus.

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