55 Flash Fiction Friday #3
A vignette from my unfinished story.
Primitus ran, dodging bolts. The roof's pitch was steep and he needed purchase to get to the other side. Left hand gripping the cross, a bolt found his wrist. Pinned. Stretched. Sliding. He reached with his free hand to pull himself up. Another bolt, another wrist. Crucified. Bolt three in his side. Blackness enclosed him.
Labels: 55 Flash Fiction Friday, Writing
posted by Charles @ 12:02 AM
Comments: 17 <-<<Add One!
17 Comments:
Whoa ok! Wow Charles, thats really good.
Sending people over to check out your counter thing...man, I do love it...makes this go so much faster!
Thanks again.
And I wanted to say that I agree with you about Toris version of I Cant Get You Out Of My Head....it definitely didnt have the spirit of Kylies..but you know I love my Tori....
Very intriguing! The way a 55 should be!
Another good one, Charles!
The image of crucifixion is always one of extreme pain, helplessness ...
Sometimes I feel it is very symbolic in our lives. We all carry our cross, an invisible cross all the time...
I am so looking forward to reading your book in its entirety.
yikes! that's some serious imagery there.
Susie,
Thank you very much, hopefully I'll finish it sometime soon. I think the energy of Kylie's rendition was the only thing that made the song work, but I'll not deny you your Tori. :)
Mike,
Thank you very much. I'm told you have a new site, I hadn't noticed. Would you care to elaborate on it?
Mona,
It is indeed, which was probably one of the reasons it was used. Our crosses are likely nothing compared to the real thing. I hope to read the book in its entirety, too. ;D
Lime,
Did you see it? I'm a very visual thinker, and putting what I see in my head into words isn't always the easiest thing for me to do, although I can go back and see everything as many times as I like. It's the words that make it hard.
That paints a graphic picture!
Thanks for stopping by my place and taking the time to comment on my first 55. :)
Akelamalu,
Of course its much shorter here than what will be the final product, but you get the gist of what's happening.
Rebicmel,
Thank you. You have a great one, too.
I like it! I like your Bonus 55 as well, but I REALLY like this one.:)
SJ,
Thanks. I certainly appreciate and respect your opinion. Modern crossbows can be so quiet and effective, more effective than a silenced pistol at moderate ranges.
No, that does NOT happen!
Are you kidding me!?
I have got to find more time to read. I still have your story and Tree's story to get caught up on.
--snow
great imagery charles.
tc
Snow,
Oh yeah (nodding) that occurs. One thing I learned from reading Frank Herbert, is that main beloved characters die. Even Orson Scott Card kills off Ender, sort of. Real life takes a lot of things we love from us, and it shapes us and the world we live in.
TC,
Thanks, its not super descriptive, but with so few words, that's hard.
Goodness! Now I wasn't expecting that either.
Cheers
McEwen,
With only 55 words to tell the story, you sometimes have to spring the end on the reader.
And still, "Cheers" without the drinks, you're going to have to start bringing enough to share. ;)
A double!!!
Just like I love my drinks!!
Thanks Charles..You are quite a talented Guy..G
G,
Me, too. Thanks.
` Poor Primitus.
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