The Thief that I am

I shamelessly stole this.

If I were going to steal a meme from Lime & SnowElf... it would be this one.

If I were a beginning, I would be... zero, zilch, nada, nothing, zip, = N - N, null, undefined, void.

If I were a month, I would be... March, because that was the month I received the blessing of fatherhood.

If I were a time of day, I would be... 12:00AM, because there's no way to tell if that's noon or midnight.

If I were a planet, I would be... Uranus, because I'm told at times I'm an ass.

If I were a season, I would be... The Holiday Season, because there's time made for friends, Eggnog with nutmeg, gifts, appreciation, smiles, hugs, meeting forgotten friends, family, food and all the things we work hard for during the year.

If I were a sea animal, I would be... So depressed, because then I'd only have seafood to eat (I hate seafood.)

If I were a direction, I would be... Straight Up, because I'm that way as much as I can possibly be anyway.

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be... An Armoire, they hold a lot, thus hide a lot, and they aren't bad looking.

If I were a sin, I would be... Sloth, because I'm lazy that way.

If I were a liquid, I would be... conforming, because that's what liquids do.

If I were a scare, I would be... the late cycle, because that scares everybody and its such a relief to learn it was only a scare.

If I were a gem, I would be... flawed.

If I were a flower/plant, I would be... Oleander, ornamental but deadly.

If I were a kind of weather, I would be... Florida weather, lots of sun and rain, ever changing.

If I were a musical instrument, I would be... a Theremin, as modern as electronics, dated, hard to get good music from, creepy at times, but infinitely cool to play with.

If I were an animal, I would be... human, there's nothing more deadly in the animal kingdom, but hardly anything else can be as altruistic.

If I were an emotion, I would be... apathy, because I don't care as much about emotions as most.

If I were a vegetable, I would be... less lucky than I was on a motorcycle.

If I were a sound, I would be... a whisper, I hate loud voices, and some whispers can be sweet.

If I were an element, I would be... carbon, all life is based upon it, and its pure cubic form is the hardest substance known, and valuable as well.

If I were a car, I would be... a Pagani Zonda.

If I were a song, I would be... "I want to know what love is" by Foreigner.

If I were a food, I would be... Beef, its what's for dinner, and nobody would ask "Where's the beef?"

If I were a place, I would be... Utopia, since nobody has managed to find it.

If I were a material, I would be... Teflon, nothing sticks to it and it can take the heat, its a great insulator and its a high dollar plastic.

If I were a taste, I would be... Sweet.

If I were a scent, I would be... The smell of the first pot of coffee in the morning.

If I were a religion, I would be... fair, rational, undemanding, unpretentious, available to all, exclusive of none, intolerant of intolerance. I wouldn't exist.

If I were a sentence, I would be... succinct and informative.

If I were a facial expression, I would be... an indistinguishable smirk with a gleam in the eye.

If I were a subject in school, I would be... Science. Other than math, there's nothing so clearcut.

If I were a colour, I would be... infrared, just barely visible, low frequency, and warm.

If I were a thing, I would be... a hand? (snap, snap(think Adam's family))

If I were a book, I would be... informative, easy to read, imaginative, thought provoking. Wait... I may be a book.

If I were an artist, I would be... me.

If I were a collection of poems, I would be... left alone around here.

If I were a landmass, I would be... the Florida peninsula, out there, but connected, lush, but tamable.

If I were a watch, I would be... the morning watch, because most are asleep then.

If I were God, I would be... infuriated, that there is so much evil done in my name.

If I were a vowel, I would be... I, (that's who I am.)

If I were a consonant, I would be... s, the most common consonant in the English language, so I'd be easy to miss.

If I were a theory, I would be... String theory, hard to understand, out there, and not here nor there.

If I were a famous person, I would be... miserable.

If I were an item of electronic equipment, I would be... A high-end Oscilloscope.

If I were a sport, I would be... F1 racing.

If I were a movie, I would be... Casablanca, Richard Blaine is a man I can relate to, and Ingrid Bergman was such a beauty.

If I were a cartoon, I would be... Buggs Bunny.

If I were an explorer, I would be... a seeker of truth.

If I were a scientist, I would be... doing Artificial Intelligence.

If I were a relation, I would be... a daddy to my daughter.

If I were a river, I would be... the Mississippi, calm and important.

If I were intoxication, I would be... fun while there, missed when I wasn't.

If I were alone, I would be... happier than ever.

If I were a question, I would be... What if...?

If I were a habit, I would be... annoying.

If I were in an atom, I would be... teetering on the edge of quantum and Newtonian.

If I were you, I would be... different than I am. Way different. Probably more centered.

For the ease of those who may want to steal this also, click the "Read Full Post." link to copy this without having to strip all the answers.


If I were going to steal a meme from ... it would be this one.

If I were a beginning, I would be...

If I were a month, I would be...

If I were a time of day, I would be...

If I were a planet, I would be...

If I were a season, I would be...

If I were a sea animal, I would be...

If I were a direction, I would be...

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be...

If I were a sin, I would be...

If I were a liquid, I would be...

If I were a scare, I would be...

If I were a gem, I would be...

If I were a flower/plant, I would be...

If I were a kind of weather, I would be...

If I were a musical instrument, I would be...

If I were an animal, I would be...

If I were an emotion, I would be...

If I were a vegetable, I would be...

If I were a sound, I would be...

If I were an element, I would be...

If I were a car, I would be...

If I were a song, I would be...

If I were a food, I would be...

If I were a place, I would be...

If I were a material, I would be...

If I were a taste, I would be...

If I were a scent, I would be...

If I were a religion, I would be...

If I were a sentence, I would be...

If I were a facial expression, I would be...

If I were a subject in school, I would be...

If I were a colour, I would be...

If I were a thing, I would be...

If I were a book, I would be...

If I were an artist, I would be...

If I were a collection of poems, I would be...

If I were a landmass, I would be...

If I were a watch, I would be...

If I were God, I would be...

If I were a vowel, I would be...

If I were a consonant, I would be...

If I were a theory, I would be...

If I were a famous person, I would be...

If I were an item of electronic equipment, I would be...

If I were a sport, I would be...

If I were a movie, I would be...

If I were a cartoon, I would be...

If I were an explorer, I would be...

If I were a scientist, I would be...

If I were a relation, I would be...

If I were a river, I would be...

If I were intoxication, I would be...

If I were alone, I would be...

If I were a question, I would be...

If I were a habit, I would be...

If I were in an atom, I would be...

If I were you, I would be...

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Viral Story Tag: Courtesy of Mike Minzes

Rules
1. Copy and paste the story below, and the rules, on your blog.
2. Find out who you're going to tag. (2-3 people, or more, if you wish)
3. Write one or two sentences to continue the story, and use the titles of the blogs you're tagging or any word(s) associated with them as keywords in the links you include in your part of the story.
4. Remember to tell your taggees that you've tagged them!
5. Feel free to use this and start your own viral link story. I'd very much appreciate a link back to Mother's Home if you do. (Or a tag, if you prefer!)

Once upon a time, after the evil stepmom had put up a Barbed wire fence around everything, the Empress came and shouted: "I've come to give you A little piece of me mind!" The evil stepmom, Shelby, came out to see what all the Rambling from this Crazy person was about. The cranky, evil stepmom watched in horror as the insane person began to parade around singing "A Boy Named Sue."

It seemed like forever this insane person would sing and for miles he would parade, all the while twisting and dancing to the song.

It was nothing short of sheer brilliance, though, this Empress, dancing like a wild monkey in an accordian store, waving goodbye to the evil (and I mean very evil) stepmom and heading off to her job as a Kelly Girl on a military base in South Carolina. It was there she was swept off her feet by Officer Gorgeous and signed up to be part of the USO.

It was day by day living with Officer Gorgeous. They went to dances, watched movies, star-gazed, & drank their fountain drinks from the same glass. Then, her Mother, Sister, and Friend came along.....

She hadn't seen them for years, and couldn't wait to introduce her new love to them. "This is Officer Gorgeous," she said. "He's really a misplaced midwesterner. We're crazy in love!"

"You must come all the way home with us!" her family cried.

She countered their pleas by saying, "I can't go all the way back to Mayberry, Mom."

Her brother stepped in and said, "Hey, while your Officer Gorgeous has been keeping your fires burning on the homefront, his wife -- yeah, I said wife -- is raising their screaming masses."

Meanwhile the evil stepmom was back at the Evil Homestead with her slave boy Charles. Poor Charles struggled to break free and make a new life with Mebs mommy. Her name was Jenny!. Jenny had long flowing red hair, beautiful eyes and the mouth of a sailor on shore leave.

Charles having had to deal with evil stepmoms in another life, determined that his lot would not be to live in slavery, so with the magic of the powerful Snow Elf, his plan unfolded to wrest free his life. The Snow Elf, conjured up two clever women, Serena Joy and the Lady of House of Lime. Together the four of them with the aid of a puckering flavored green citrus fruit, lime , and the tongue twisting talents of Parenthetically Speaking of Just Another Ironic Coincidence, the spell caused the evil stepmom to make an ash of herself.

Snow Elf, Lime, and Serena Joy, I am hereby Tagging you. Just think now you don't have to think about what that post will be. :D

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The Education Meme: Cathy's Barf on a Blog!

Having been tagged by cathy, informed by MONA, and nothing better to do, I will answer the challenge.

What was the name of the teacher that was most influential in your life from grades K through 6
The teacher who had the most influence on my life was my second 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. English (it was really her name.) I had been out sick one day, and upon my return was both accused of stealing something from some girl in class the day before. I was then punished for it before the entire class. I now make honesty one of my foremost qualities, and trust authority figures like I do Dick Cheney.

What subject did you favor in high school?
I have always favored science, but my shop class (then radio & tv, now it would be electronics) was probably one of the most fun. I only had to take one science class, so I took Biology. I didn't even have to take the final exam to make an 'A'. In shop, we used to make things like multivibrators (look it up), and play tricks on each other. It was funny to have someone yelling "MR. DUHART! MR. DUHART!" as they tuned their crystal radio with me and a transistor radio being tuned simultaneously behind him, only to turn and see me doing it. The exploding gum wrappers and exploding electrolytic capacitors were fun, too.

Did you attend a university and if so, did you attain a degree?
I only got to go to a local Junior college and obtain an Associates of Science. I did receive the "Academic Excellence in Computer Programming" award, though.

Do you learn best through books, by watching, or hands-on?
I like my books, although I can learn quite readily from watching someone. The great advantage to books is that you don't have to have a subject matter expert around, you get to become the expert.

Has education been an ongoing process for you?
Learning is something I try to do at all times. Cathy's comment about education, although I don't see it as a euphemism, is pretty close. Education was designed to help business.

How do you feel about that?
I hate that education makes for disposable workers. I love learning.

What seven people are you tagging to do this?
Why the heck would I do that to people? Well, I guess I could think of them as cats...

Keshi - 'cause she seems sweet, and she's Aussie.
Dan - 'cause I can, man.
Lulu (Dan's cat) - 'cause Dan shouldn't get off that easily.
lime - 'cause she's friendly.
dana barnett - 'cause she needs the attention.
-= ComputerNick =- - 'cause he's an old young friend of mine.
Vixenette - 'cause she needs the exposure to nonjudgmental people.

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