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Thursday, July 19, 2007

Chapter 11

For your reading (dis?)pleasure, I am posting Chapter 11 of my story.
Please give me your feedback, good or bad.
Please note I am reserving all copyrights, and this may not be copied or used for any derivative work.

©2007, Charles Hernandez

Primitus, who looked oddly similar to someone that Altera had seen on the public videos, with his black shoulder length hair and blue eyes was taller than both Altera and Tertius. They all knew exactly who their mother was, but she had never told them who their father was. Both Tertius and Altera looked very much like their mother, but Primitus obviously took more traits from their father. All three of them were taller than six feet, but Primitus was about three inches taller than the other two, had broader shoulders, was of a more muscular build, and he was smarter. Altera, the only female among them, was beautiful to look at, tall, shapely and lithe, men enjoyed watching her. Each had the blue eyes of their mother, with only Primitus having dark hair.

They’d been holed up in the room for fifteen days, without outside contact other than from their terminals, and less than 20 minutes of conversation between them on any given day. It felt like heaven to them, to be able to work, to think, and even to speak, with full understanding between them. It wasn’t that there wasn’t much said, it needed only to be said once, knowing the others would share total comprehension. It could have been uttered in a half coherent voice, with the same result. They could also think fast enough that the same result would come when they merely thought of a unique phrase and could say just the first letter of each word. It was a habit they made their own from net speak, but they carried it far beyond that since net speak used only the most common phrases. They could do it in the other languages they spoke, too.

Although they were siblings, the understanding wasn’t because of any learned characteristics between them. They were merely that intelligent. These three, these barely into adulthood kids, had graduated college by the time their contemporaries had graduated high school. They had surprising higher spatial abilities than anyone had seen among any of their professors. They had told the truth when asked about thinking outside the box, when each one of them never having heard it from anyone else, said that they could think not just inside the box, outside the box, around the box, through the box, as the box, but could see before and after an ever-present ineradicable box. Each one of them had declined offers to interview with agencies connected to national security, not only because they felt that the agencies were inherently wrong, but because they didn’t see any challenge or growth potential.

Individually any one of the group’s intelligence was like nothing anyone had ever seen. They also knew that that none of the battery of tests that they had been put through could detect the difference. But they each knew, that it was Primitus who was the most intelligent among them. He had the most creative mind among them, and that was the determining factor, he could imagine something and make it fit reality. It seemed to the average person, that he made reality fit his imaginings. Any one of the three of them could have made the great minds of history cower in shame, Galileo, Newton, Leibniz, Bose, Einstein, Turing, all but one. Together, their intelligence amounted to a dynamo of power, building faster and faster, with no need of a governor.

The room was narrow, long, and well lit and the three of them had been busy at their respective terminals, when Primitus spoke up,
“When I was six, I read the bible three times one summer. The first time I was just bored, the second time I read it to get the history, the last time I read it to understand what was really going on.”

“One of the seven plagues of Egypt was the same one that ravaged Europe and so it was just a matter of time. Cellular structure then was still virtually perfect. the virus caused mutations of both mtDNA and DNA. The reason God smote men, who spilled their seed, was that it was an inevitability that the next rung of human evolution was coming. The spilling of seed put that time further into the future.”

“The wisdom of Jesus is pretty much clinches the facts. Jesus was the first of what should have been a new race, a new species, he was the first homo uberrime.”

“Jesus was preparing a following, he was mobile and unconcerned about the affairs of his contemporary society, because he was preparing to start his own society, a separate and advanced society. That he was murdered by a petty, jealous, ignorant society of savages was unfortunate, it set the advancements back two thousand years. His vision and knowledge of what could have been and still could be, at least wasn’t completely wasted, he laid a course for mankind that would allow future homo uberrimes to be accepted enough that not all would perish in the future without his society, so that his vision of that society could flourish in that future.”

The others considered, accessing their own memories of the bible, considered what had been concluded, and all agreed. Primitus had come to the correct conclusions. They weren’t the first of the homo uberrime; they were the beneficiaries of the first’s gift to those who followed, although not the only beneficiaries of the ideas put forth by Jesus of Nazareth. That God had been an advanced being or beings guiding mankind’s direction, they had all concluded before, but for some reason they hadn’t considered the other implications. It didn’t seem important to them previously, not like it seemed now.

Jesus would have fit right in with this group, with his sharp mind, his wisdom. Considering that his was a time before the decimal point had been invented, that there was no science, there were no tools of learning or research other than that of primitive writing without vowels, he had taken the only course that a mind like his could. Jesus chose leadership. He was pointing the way that society should follow, gathering candidates who had a high probability of producing offspring like him.

His mobility was in preparation of moving all of them to another location where they could prosper. His rejection of a life of possessions was a model, with circumstances being likely that they would have to pull together and live as one unit to survive. The valuables they would possess would be in themselves; it would be knowledge and each other. They would have invented higher learning; they would have created unified governance. The society would have been a perfect democracy, with each member taking responsibility for his own actions, with a side effect that votes wouldn’t likely have been necessary, since they would have all voted the same anyway.

Here they all were, living that same kind of life, but with all the tools that hadn’t been available to Jesus. There were still things to invent, ideas to be explored by their incredible minds, but with so many infrastructures already in place, they could move well beyond what had been envisioned previously. Just the terminals they were using for knowledge acquisition, were a huge boon to learning. That they could program and model, was better. To each of them those resources were just an analog of the stone knife to man, considering that the stone axe was actually more important than these things were to homo uberrime, they could do all that was necessary entirely in their own heads. They weren’t so vain that they wouldn’t use a tool to allow their minds to be free, though.

It was good that they had left when they did, they would have fallen victim to the same fate as their now ancient predecessor. They didn’t have to cover their tracks; they were always at least three steps ahead of their pursuers. If they were caught, they could always convince the sapiens that they weren’t worth the price it would cost to bring them in.

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20 Comments:

At Thursday, July 19, 2007 at 7:29:00 PM EDT, Blogger Serena Joy $visitorIP said...

Interesting! Do you have the previous chapters archived? I'd kind of like to catch up on the back story.

At Thursday, July 19, 2007 at 7:48:00 PM EDT, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

This is the introduction of these three characters, and the nonlinear timeline(s) I'm using has yet to establish the full background.

At Friday, July 20, 2007 at 2:50:00 AM EDT, Blogger MONA $visitorIP said...

Oh! This is just amazing!

The flow is amazing from one stanza to the next...[ only you dont close the inverted commas till the last para of speech, although you use thenm in the beginning of each, just like your paraenthesis.But knowing you, there could be another reason to that!]

I love the discussion about Jesus!...isnt that so? Jesus like all the other great Apostles was sacrificed just because his views could not meet the eye of the common & ordinary. He was an extraordianary being, much ahead oh his time& therefore incomprehensible to them all. In fact some of his views might have sounded callous & offending to their prexisting beliefs & notions.That is how it is.Peple blined by beliefs want the truth to conform to them & not the other way round.But Truth has no obligation to console anyone, like the beliefs do. It renders null & void all that you have invested your entire life building up & believing. Perhaps that is why the reaction against visionaries is so strong. It shocks & it makes them, the ordinary beings feel shaky & threatened.

I love the expression about the out of box thinking.
"They had told the truth when asked about thinking outside the box, when each one of them never having heard it from anyone else, said that they could think not just inside the box, outside the box, around the box, through the box, as the box, but could see before and after an ever-present ineradicable box."

this is so beautifully well written...your flow is incredible!!!

Primitus' analysis of bible is very unusual & interesting.Specially about God smitting men to user in quick change. That is so true of so many natural disasters.

Have you read G B Shaw's man & Superman? That too shows how spilling of seed can hamper Man's progress.Woman is seen as Nature's contrivance for perpetuating its behest in a most economical way.A way which sends man back in time & hinder his growth.

The reason God smote men, who spilled their seed, was that it was an inevitability that the next rung of human evolution was coming. The spilling of seed put that time further into the future.”

this is amazingly similar in content

& then : "the wisdom of jesus pretty much cliches the facts" how true!

God being the advanced being of beings is an interesting theory though...if God can be taken as being...
For me God is a process... :) [ you know I worship just Love]

"His mobility was in preparation of moving all of them to another location where they could prosper. His rejection of a life of possessions was a model, with circumstances being likely that they would have to pull together and live as one unit to survive"

Isnt that how it is? They all give us signs& their actions are like LAWS incarnate...with deeper meaning to them & ever useful in themselves. sometimes It has been proved, that certain acts of the apostles were scientifically benifical to mankind. There were certain things that they said which were proved aeons after they had gone & are still being proved..

"Here they all were, living that same kind of life, but with all the tools that hadn’t been available to Jesus. There were still things to invent, ideas to be explored by their incredible minds, but with so many infrastructures already in place, they could move well beyond what had been envisioned previously. Just the terminals they were using for knowledge acquisition, were a huge boon to learning. That they could program and model, was better. To each of them those resources were just an analog of the stone knife to man, considering that the stone axe was actually more important than these things were to homo uberrime, they could do all that was necessary entirely in their own heads. They weren’t so vain that they wouldn’t use a tool to allow their minds to be free, though."

It is really amazing way of expressing in so much precision the fact that evlolution takes ages of preperation, pointing out & gets better & more advanced with time.Surely they have lot of facilities we dfidnt have in our times [ our children] & it is a boon & a gift to them from the hard work of their ancestors...wich will make progress faster and easier...& Human brain will develop likewise... towards more intelligence.

Bravo Charles! I am speechless!! { not really!!!} LOL!

I am confident about your success more than ever now!I would have given a standing ovation at the reading of this one!! & you deserve it!

At Friday, July 20, 2007 at 7:42:00 AM EDT, Blogger snowelf $visitorIP said...

Charles darling, I need your email.

May I get it from Mona? Or you can post and delete it from my blog.

--snow

At Friday, July 20, 2007 at 9:19:00 AM EDT, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

Mona,
Thanks, detailed analysis is the most useful.

Snow,
Yes. You can get it from Mona, I'd rather not publish it.

At Friday, July 20, 2007 at 12:00:00 PM EDT, Blogger Top cat $visitorIP said...

Great introduction of the characters and tone of the book.
Looking forward to reading the rest of this charles.
Very good.
tc

At Friday, July 20, 2007 at 12:08:00 PM EDT, Blogger no.good.at.coding $visitorIP said...

Charles, this is great stuff! I, unfortunately (?), unlike Mona, am not one to analyze and I never really get into the philosophical bent of mind. But this is a good read even to me! I like the story so far and I like the setting and well, everything about this piece. I think, like Mona said, it's because it all flows so well from one line to another.

What is the genre by the way? To me it seems it would be different at different levels; sci fi/ fantasy/ philosophy/ religion(?) all interwoven to produce a really good yarn ( Yay! I made a funny! :D )

So what happens next? How much are you done with? How long do we have to wait? You've give us a tantalizing taste and now I can't wait to read more!

@Mona: I liked what you said, about people wanting the truth to conform to them rather than vice versa. You seem to have this knack for putting observations into just the right words and phrases :)

At Friday, July 20, 2007 at 12:09:00 PM EDT, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

TC,
Thanks, I'm still working on it. I wanted to get some feedback before I got myself in so deep that it would an intractable situation.

At Friday, July 20, 2007 at 12:59:00 PM EDT, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

NGAC,
Thanks, I really would like detailed analysis, though. It's Sci-fi, although it won't be Frank Herbert, its one of the best ideas I've come up with. I'm far far from finishing. I have less than 70 paperback sized pages so far, and want at least 200, originally I was going to shoot for 400, but its dragging it out of me is a slow painful process.

At Friday, July 20, 2007 at 1:00:00 PM EDT, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

"but dragging" rather. Duh.

At Friday, July 20, 2007 at 5:00:00 PM EDT, Blogger MONA $visitorIP said...

slow, but in the end worth it! :)

At Friday, July 20, 2007 at 10:07:00 PM EDT, Blogger Mike M $visitorIP said...

Good stuff Charles. Maybe a little too detailed. That where it seems to drag, but otherwise very well written

At Saturday, July 21, 2007 at 8:11:00 AM EDT, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

Mike,
Thank you, that's what I'm looking for, the identification of areas I need to improve.

At Saturday, July 21, 2007 at 10:38:00 AM EDT, Blogger no.good.at.coding $visitorIP said...

Charles, I kinda disagree with Mike there. I too thought it seemed very long and was a little intimidated by the length at first; but like Mona said, it flows together really well so, once you start with it, it doesn't 'drag' or seem too detailed. Not to me anyway.

Perhaps, once it's in print, it'll be easier on the eyes. Or maybe you might want to break up the longer bits into shorter paragraphs with the same content if possible?

At Saturday, July 21, 2007 at 1:30:00 PM EDT, Blogger MONA $visitorIP said...

There is not a single word too many here.It is just right.It is all important & necessary to the content and the context.Its a novel & there can be no word limits in novel. It is the genre which allows full licence & has no limitations and is to be exploited thusly.

Believe me I know it. My Doctorate Research has been on this particular genre of Literature...

At Monday, July 30, 2007 at 1:52:00 AM EDT, Blogger MONA $visitorIP said...

Hope that you have coughed up more than 70 pages now :)

You MUST finish this!

At Wednesday, August 1, 2007 at 11:37:00 AM EDT, Blogger Top cat $visitorIP said...

I hope you got enough feedback to continue writing the rest of this story..interesting and entertaining.
tc

At Wednesday, August 29, 2007 at 2:53:00 PM EDT, Blogger MONA $visitorIP said...

so? how many more pages have you written by now? & when do I get to read this book?

At Wednesday, August 29, 2007 at 7:27:00 PM EDT, Blogger Charles $visitorIP said...

Argh! I've been slacking. I'll send you a link to what I have so far, if you'd like, Mona.

At Thursday, August 30, 2007 at 2:19:00 AM EDT, Blogger MONA $visitorIP said...

PLEASE DO!!!!

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